In regards to your question when I am off the Foley. I have to wear protection or use the external. The protection can be a Male Guard in my brief if I am not leaving the house. But, if leaving the house I have to wear a taped disposable diaper usually with a disposable booster insert. Like you , using the external can be a little concerning at times. I have found the Simplicity Collection system where the external cath attaches directly to the bag. The bag then sits in the pouch of your brief. To empty the bag you unzip your pants , open the port and lightly press against the bag for the urine to flow out.
Over the years I have been concerned of getting a sore on my skin if I wore an external too much. Therefore I would only wear it during the day and remove it at night.
With urge incontinence as you know it continues when you’re sleeping. Some nights can be brutal, therefore getting no rest.
With the advantages of the Foley it is much easier to manage your incontinence and allow you to function normally.
Trex , I taught myself the insertion method and was using it before my first visit to my Urologist. Many men do their own.
I believe if you talk to your Urologist and explain how your quality of life has improved with the Foley he will become supportive.
Like you, in the beginning, when I asked my primary doctor about using a Foley he shut the subject down. But months later I did it on my own, and he finally became respective of my thoughts. Then he set me up with my urologist who is very supportive.