Hello,
while I had a stricture internally, unlike your fiancé, I can tell you a little about my experience with the graft removal and healing in the mouth. I was completely freaked out about the tissue removal and later healing. It turns out in my case to be almost a non issue. I had almost no pain at the donor site. I would suggest that you ask about what they do with the donor site. I am told that some stitch it up and some don’t. Mine was cauterized and not stitched. My surgeon said that she found that to be less painful and quicker healing. I am a complete wimp and have a low pain tolerance. Overall the whole thing was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I think us guys get super nervous when we have to have anything done to our male anatomy. It is our worst nightmare. Trust me the guys here all get that and if you could talk him into reading here a little, it may calm his fears. There are some great posts here about what to expect.
The web in general is a nightmare with way too much bad or not correct information. Here it is much more realistic and not populated by people with horror stories. Here you will find caring people who have been through it, will answer questions and offer compassion and support. I quit reading everything but here, in the lead up to my surgery. The other thing is talk to your surgeon. Mine was super nice, she (yes I trusted my surgery to a wonderful female surgeon) answered all my questions and even let me pick out music in the OR to help calm me.
Assure him that his fear is much worse than reality. I also was not afraid to ask for something to calm my nerves during the tests before and after. Last don’t be offended if he sort of shuts down right before. My wife was a little upset that I quit talking and just pulled into myself the last day. It is how I coped. I think a lot of guys are like that.
We are all pulling for him!
